ElCap Report 10/06/09
By Tom Evans
Yo… Splendid day here in the Valley.  The weather looks good for the foreseeable future.  There are few parties on anything except the Trip which has suddenly become the flavor of the week.  Zodiac also has some suitors on the early part of the route.  The Nose has three teams, all of whom are going off tomorrow most likely.  This is the time for you to get here and get on the Captain.  The time and the situation are right on.

ElCap Report 10/05/09
By Tom Evans
Yo.. The clouds and rain have vanished as quickly as they arrived and we had a spectacular day with brilliant blue skies.  The temps were cool at the bridge and the climbers on the Captain looked comfortable.  There is some rumor of a shower tomorrow but my astrological advisor, Erik, was off to town today and was not available.  I suggest checking a weather site on the net if you are interested.  It was pretty brisk here at the bridge and thus the Tourons didn’t linger after looking through the scope and getting the real dope on climbing from me.  So it was a relatively quiet day for me. 

ElCap Report 10/04/09
By Tom Evans
Yo… Well, it turns out that Mars and Jupiter were in alignment after all and Sloan, the level 22 Astrologer, was right on, with his Charts and Darts!  It started raining in the middle of the night and has been on and off all day with sometimes heavy hail and sleet mixed in.  It is cold too.  All the high roads out of the Valley are closed.  Camp 4 is an empty tent city and is certainly one of the most miserable places on the planet when it is cold and wet.  Turns out the occupants of Camp 4 are all in the Café, which has been jammed all day and has taken on the peculiar odor of wet clothing and dirty feet.

ElCap Report 10/03/09
By Tom Evans
Yo… Big crowds around the bridge today… endless streams of Tourons.  Jerry was here with his big unit and that drew them in making my job a little easier.  Beautiful day with some wind and a few clouds later in the day.  The weather pontificators are still calling for some precip, but that hasn’t stopped climbers from embarking on their journey up the Captain.  My favorite tree, the Sugar Maple across from the chapel, showed a few colorful leaves for the first time this Fall.  It should be popping around the 15th or so.
If you are thinking of coming for the Fall colors then maybe put it off for a couple of weeks or so… I will keep you posted.

ElCap Report 10/02/09
By Tom Evans
Yo… Soooo goooood today!  The perfect fall climbing day.  If the leaves had turned it would have been one of the best on record.   The pontificators  are still calling for a chance of rain tomorrow or Sunday.   I needed a second opinion so the Report would not lead anyone astray.  So I contacted Erik Sloan, well known, Master Astrologer, of the 22nd order, and since there are only 24 orders you know you can trust this man, he knows his shit!  He was working at the Bridge but took time from his labors to do a full work up on his Master Charts and Sacred Dart Board.  The Darts were thrown and the charts consulted … he said we would have one day with a high chance of measurable precipitation… sometime in the future… within 4 months.  Well, it sounds like Mars and Jupiter are aligned to me, so be warned!!  It just might rain, snow or be clear.  You can now go forth with confidence!

ElCap Report 10/01/09
By Tom Evans
Yo… Spectacular day here … even better than yesterday with gentle breezes and cool temps.  The meteorological pontificators say it will rain this weekend with a low snow level.  I say “Balderdash” what the hell do they know anyway?  Everyone knows that the weather is always perfect here in Yosemite and it never rains during the climbing season, right?  Right!!  So come on out and get on the Big Stone because you ain’t getting any younger and I am not going to live forever and you don’t want to miss your chance to glorify in front of my Big Gun!!