ElCap Reports

ElCap Report 6/5/07

By Tom Evans

Yo... grab your raingear and get your bailing bucket out of the trunk because you are going to be floating down the river of tears today as the bailers bailed and the hard men continued undeterred... yes.. it rained on the Cap today.... impossible you say?? Yes, it is true that I predicted it would not rain but just blow over... well guess what rodents??? I was wrong!!! Read the Disclaimer!!!  The day started out cloudy and cool with some wind and it got colder and colder and the wind picked up a bunch... the Bridgies were dressed for the cold... Eric, Cedar, Aaron, Matt, and yours truly started off the day with a nice bottle of wine, complements of Cedar and after a time Ottawa Doug rolled up with the chips, gin and tonics, cobras etc. We also had The "Dean" of photography, show and climbers fresh off the Cap, Arnout, Stephanie (recently freed free rider) Stephane (also freed free rider roped solo), DT and Mom, BW Kate with her new dancing shoes on and Kyle just off a forced bivy on higher spire... Several other just off the wall teams stopped by to bask in the glory too....well the deluge started around 1:30 and we retired to the trees next to the bridge and remained quite dry... the Cap was a different matter with high wind and driving rain for a few hours... here at the bridge we felt badly for our suffering brothers and sisters on the Big Stone so we partied even harder to make up for their absence! So here it is brought to you by Surfer Bob riding the storm surge down the mighty Merced to my ISP... thanks Bob!!

ElCap Report 6/4/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... All right it is the worst day of the work week... work week? Oh yeah, that’s that thing about spending your time trying to get some $$$ so you can live way above the standard you could be living... and spending all week doing it?? Man.. Don’t think I could do that again... retirement you know... every day is a Saturday for me!! So I have time to sit on the veranda of the Heartbreak Hotel high on ElCap and watch the O'Neil gong show roll their way up the face... good fun... so here it comes direct from Dave Turners mom who showed up last night and wanted to drive it to the ISP in her old Mercedes... the one smoking up the valley... so here it is all the delights and debacles.. the good and the bad and everything in between...Today's ElCap Report.

ElCap Report 6/3/07

 By Tom Evans

Ok here it comes... I fixed a zip line down from Heartbreak Hotels east deck all the way down to the Bridge railing... so I just grabbed the T bar and went down for the ride of a lifetime... landed at the bridge to find that, Scott Stowe, had taken "My Parking Spot" on the SW corner of the bridge even though he could have used many others... thus I had to shoot in the wind today and that means that a lot of nice climbers will have blurry pictures of themselves .... thanks a lot Scott!!! If you see the man tell him to give us all a break!!!   Actually the pics came out fine and Scott can park anywhere he wants :)  Direct from a vulture to the ISP comes today’s report with the dirt and the dis on all the danglers and manglers on the Big Stone... So drop that slightly used rack that you went out with today and wash those smelly, climbing shoe stains off your feet ... because you want to be clean and not sober to take in the full impact of the news... Today's ElCap Report...

ElCap Report 6/2/07
By Tom Evans
It’s Friday ... or so they tell me so the rooms at the Heartbreak Hotel are filling rapidly for the weekend and I got down the fixed lines early today in hopes of getting my usual parking space by the Bridge to adventure... got it!! Settled in early with Lance, KFC, Bailer but they left to go do a push on the Zodiac... tons of climbers came by this afternoon and Ottawa Doug is still basking in the glory and is thinking of pitching his family/home and moving onto the east end of the bridge... we had quite a time today.. so much so that I hardly had time to do any shooting!!  Even though you are going out this weekend for some fun remember that your punk existence pales when stacked against the big wallers here on the big stone... so loosen up, listen up, brew up because straight from a shit bag dropped from high on the Cap comes today’s ElCap Report...
 

ElCap Report 6/1/0

By Tom Evans 

Yo .. park your butt and turn off that cell phone and get ready for the real dealings from the center of the Ditch... that is of course the ElCap Bridge... the place of fame and the walk of shame... so, coming fresh to you from the Salathe's Ear to Zodiacs Nipple on the wing of our resident Mallard, Maynard (with his lovely lady Minnie close at his side) is today’s report .... approved by the Heads at the Heartbreak Hotel... today's ElCap Report...

ElCap Report 5/31/07

By Tom Evans

Yo... here it comes... right on target, dropped by a B-2 bomber on a laser guided bomb so it can’t miss... Today’s ElCap Report. Skipping the long intro today in favor of the BIG NEWS OUT OF THE VALLEY TODAY... Rob Miller and Justing Sjong did indeed free the freeable Muir and even added a few nicer pitches to the route than the old "Shaft" route... they are calling it PreMuir and I was fortunate to be able to shoot them over the past 2 and 1/2 years they have worked on it on and off... you can guess that the lads were quite happy to have finally put it together in a 7 day ascent... Rob spent some of the day hanging at the Bridge and talking about the good time they had on the route... neither he nor Justin looked at all "worked"... Now to the other news from deep in the ditch...Today's ElCap Report...

ElCap Report 5/30/07

By Tom Evans

Ok... dig out your rain gear, get that bailers topo out, and hunker down under that rain fly because fresh from the base of the Blast comes all the dirt and delight brought to you by a Peregrine falcon right here from the deck of the Heartbreak Hotels best suite. I have the eyes and ears of an eagle and you can't slide that BS story by me... so here it is straight from the Deck of the Ditch... the epicenter of the center of the big walling scene here in Yosemite... the ElCap Report for today.

ElCap Report 5/29/07 By Tom Evans

Yo... here it comes straight to you via a low pass by Chuck Yeager in the Bell X-1 at Mach 1.05... I rapped off Heartbreak hotel today to find that some guys had taken my spot at the bridge and that threw a snag into the days shooting as I need the van to block the wind... but I made do... so pack your imaginary haul bags and get your gear racked and head out onto the greatest big wall climbing in the solar system this side of Neptune... remember I am the hard eye of honesty, coldly looking at the rock with a remorseless gaze... you can't fake me bro and the dirt flies if you even try... Thanks Chuck for your faster than sound delivery of the dirt and the delights fresh from the epicenter of the center of the big wall climbers dreams...  Today's ElCap Report....

ElCap Report 5/28/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... This morning I came down the invisible lines from Heartbreak Hotel.   I slid down to man my station as the gate keeper at the gate of adventure.  Another great day here at the epicenter of the center of the climbing universe in Yosemite... lots to report today... big sends... big bails ... and of course big flails... so throw that rack back into he closet because your little vacation is now over and you have to rely on Ansel Evans for all your big wall vicarious thrills and I've got the dope right from the center of the ditch itself... from the nipple pitch that you just dream about hugging, to the triangular roof high on the Dihedral wall... here it comes... unfiltered, not spell checked or grammatically correct.... you have to figure out the botched parts.. a good mental workout so you won't get Old Timers disease like I have!!

Today's ElCap Report.....

ElCap Report 5/27/07

 By Tom Evan

s Yo... a little late posting this one as the Valley was a Zoo yesterday with huge traffic volume ... but here it is fresh from the pack of a hitch hiker I sent out as the van couldn't be moved in the traffic... your man here on a windy warm day with all the action from the cap.. we had the bails and the flails today and some "walk of shames" too. We had some expeditions backing their bags and hauling their shit up fixed lines and down from the top...So direct from the Dihedrals' Black cave to Zodiacs' Dead End ledge... here it comes... the ElCap Report..