ElCap Reports

ElCap Report 6/20/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo.... Soooooo.... Wednesday is history, and you are inching closer to the weekend and feeling that relief is in sight.... well not so fast, breath of a thousand swine... it ain’t here till it's here!! So I am all you’ve got to lift you over the bumps on your daily road thru life...lucky for you, because you know you will get the straight deal from my deck, and the chips will just have to fall where they may. The good get smiles and the bad get a kick in the teeth. So straight from the ElCap scree where the bailers sit getting ready for the walk of shame, right past us in the glory hole, at the bridge, comes today’s Report... you had better enjoy it because the time is rapidly approaching when this reporter will be heading home and you will be all by yourself wondering just what the hell is happening on the Big Stone?! Alas, there will be no one to hold your shaking little hand and guide you through all the news... YOU'RE GOING COLD TURKEY DUDE!!... so get ready to Man-up, big time... oh you may find a poser or two trying to get the news through to you but what do they really know?? Nada, man, Nada... So here it is fresh from my rocking chair and telescope right at the very scene of the action... the photons off the events are the actual ones used to make this report. Settle in, get out that Korean-English dictionary and tie your self into that chair you like so much... Here it comes... Today’s ElCap Report...

Zodiac: Talked to the Koreans, formerly the Lost in America team, and now officially... formerly the Zodiac team... they gave the knife across the throat sign when I tactfully posed the one word question..."Zodiac?"... Ah! As the old Korean saying goes.. "a gesture is worth a thousand words!!" In contrast... the German team of Peter and Martina were well into the Mark of Zorro pitch when I arrived a little after 9am to shoot the wall in the early light... they looked good and were last seen today at 3:30 pm, I left early, about to start the pitch to Peanut ledge.. expect them to bivy there... their wardrobes were first rate and I would love to shoot them any time, any place... I will have to post a shot of them with my next, and unfortunately Last, group of spring photos. Later in the morning, as promised, Wigball and his woman friend, Holly were seen in the immediate vicinity of the bolt ladder pitch. They messed around a bit getting things set up and Zak went right up to the ledge at the start of the Black Tower. Holly was later seen to clean the pitch and at that point I was out of there... assume they will stay a pitch above for the night..

The Trip...My Man Todd continues to roll along and will most likely punch me in the mouth when he reads what I have written in the past... I will take it like a man, but will try my best to duck. Strangely enough he had a Korean man, dressing in red, follow him up a pitch on another line down from the main Korean lines... what was up with that? He seemed to ignore the little fella and proceeded with his business as if alone... I really want to hear Todd’s story after this route is in the books!

Aurora: Well what the guys on LA and the Trip lacked these folks had in spades... they have finished the route but the caravan is so long that hours after the summit was reached there were still people coming up the lines... there as a rumor going around that they had fixed all the way to the ground and all the campers in Camp 4 were jugging up the route... personally... I didn't see it and only report it as wild speculation! I shot a ton of pics of this team and they were really looking good... the colors were impressive and the leader was just running up the pitches... congratulations on a well done operation... glad they are on our side!!

The Ranch: I did have the pleasure of actually talking to Pass the Pitons Pete, directly on the walkie talkie.. he was just past the welcome to Wyoming pitch which he called one of the hardest he had done in some time. He did say that he replaced some nasty, old, rusty, falling out at the touch of a mosquito, rivets on the pitch but that it was still pretty hard... when I asked about the big X we saw, made out of duct tape on the rock, he said it was for Kate so she would not touch the death flake, it was on, while cleaning... Very considerate Pete! Other than that he said it was not as hot up there as we would think and that things were going well but that he had to go and start hauling the 27 bags they had taken up the route! Kate was out on lead so I didn’t have a chance to chat with her... did hear her call for a #3cam on the zip line..

NA Wall: The team from yesterday was seen topping out around noon. The much heralded team of 3 did actually get off the ground this morning, thus starting the "Shove ascent". A Shove, first perfected by KFC and Flash on the Dihedral a few weeks ago, is, for those of you not in the complete know, a more gentle ascent than the regular "push". With a "push" you go like a madman until you either die from exhaustion or just jump off the cliff because you are so sick of climbing you can’t stand it anymore. With the "Shove" you get to sleep a few hours if you get tired, and there is extra food and water if you need them, and thus you aren’t wrecked at the end. However, the Shove, when properly done, usually misses the classic "one day ascent" by about 10 minutes, and thus leaves a disappointing after-taste in the mouth. Anyway the guys were seen climbing at a rather slow pace up the first 7 pitches and thus are in the perfect position for the Shove ascent... tomorrow will tell the tale...

Nose: The Cheese heads were seen climbing the Great Roof this morning and were watched for a time by Derick’s entire extended family of 37 people including many kids running around trying to knock over the telescopes and screaming "Mommy, Johnny hit me".. it was interesting...I last saw the team almost finished with the Glowering Spot lead. Lower down around 11am SAR Andy and cute Little Biscuit showed up in the stove legs with her leading a long free pitch with style and confidence. They counter hauled up to dolt as I departed for the day... Elcap tower tonight for them..

Salathe: I did see the team of a man and a woman top out this afternoon... got a shot of him leaning off the top taking a shot of her jugging the last few feet to the top... I like those pictures of people taking pictures... Also saw another team go over the roof and onto the headwall late in the afternoon... guess they were the folks I thought I saw yesterday in the middle of the route....

In other news. The bridge was quiet today as many monkeys were off doing or planning big projects. My friend Tim, from last year, told of plans to do the nose with the Chuck Pratt look-a-like who was recently seen in the cafe and was here last year... His real name is Logan but I always call him Chuck. Anyway, I have it from reliable sources that the third will be one very experienced climber from the frozen north with many ElCap ascents. Later, several monkeys hung here and we all did several rounds with pestering Tourons who wanted to know where every single climber was on ElCap and what each life story was... we just made up stuff at that point.. Also in brief attendance was one Pirate, perhaps the Pirate of all Pirates, Jamie who I haven’t seen in a couple of years but is one of the funniest and nicest guys you will ever know... if he likes you of course.... otherwise forget it...Great to see old and new friends at the Bridge even if I am too shattered to remember anyone’s name. Hey, the weather is nice and the routes pretty empty, so come on out and get in a route before the summer heat gets stuck in the on position... The van was packed and the area policed up... I left early to make a hair apt. for tomorrow as I have been chased by several rangers with whistles and booming shotguns shouting "Bad Bear, Bad Bear"... I got the message and until tomorrow.....

That's the way it is,  for Wednesday, the 20th day of June 2007...

Signing off for now, and hiding from the bear patrol, ElCap-pics